Losing Jade
by Penny Davis
Summary: Post TWC. On the count of ten, I lost my other half. Now I'll spend a lifetime trying to get it Jade back.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary**: On the count of ten, I lost my other half.

**Author Note**s: I'm considering making this into a chapter story, so please let me know what you guys think. Thanks.

Chapter 1: On ten

Jade West never realizes how lovely she is, and hearing her voice wavier from the other side of the door as she counts, as she waits for me to twist the handle, and tell her I love her, is the worst feeling. Maybe we're the worst couple because of me.

I sit there for maybe an hour or so trying to focus on playing cards with my friends, instead of letting myself be consumed by the sudden loneliness running through me. But I know letting her go wasn't going to be easier, I just didn't think it would be this hard either. It's getting too hard.

After we finish the fourth round of poker, I head back to my place. My heart nearly stops then beats out of my chest as I see her sitting outside of my RV. She looks so broken sitting there all alone, with her leather jacket being the only thing protecting her from the cold.

"Jade?" I say as softly as can, not wanting to scare her off. "Almost three years Beck. And THAT'S the way you break up with me," her sharp tone pierces through my entire body. Her pain so palpable I almost feel it more than mine own. "I'm sorry." My words hang there lamely for which feel like forever before she looks up at me with tear stain eyes, and asks in what I can only describe as wounded "For what Beck? For embarrassing me, for hurting me, or for ever saying you love me?" How do you make ever thing better when you're not even sure how it got there to being with?

"Jade." I say again, trying to think of something, anything to take us back to the start, when we were happy. "I still love you, I'll always love you." I don't know what I expected to hear. I was hoping she would tell me she loves me too, but instead she scoffed. "Right, because when you love someone, you break up with them instead of trying to make it work. My dad is like that Beck, but I never thought you would be." With that being said she stands up and walks away. But right before she gets to her car, she turns back around to really look at the boy with her heart one last time. 'At least not to me', she adds silently.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Note**: Thanks so much to everybody who reviews my story. It means A LOT to me. I hope you guys enjoy chapter two just as much if not more. Also please let me know what you thought of the flashback.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Victorious, Dan Schneider does.

Chapter two: penguin heartbreak

I can feel the tears forming in my eyes even before I pull out of Beck's drive way. 'I'm not going cry.' I chant it in my head even as the tears fall from my eyes. Almost to prove to myself even if you say something, it can still be a lie. Beck saying he loves me and that he will always love me has to be a lie. Because even if it isn't I can't go back to him.

After driving for twenty minutes, I'm back at my house, and for once I'm glad no one is home. I leave the lights off as I make my way to my bedroom, wishing it was always this easy to hide. I guess it will be now that I no longer have Beck. He's the only one who was able to see the things I try not to show the world. Although anyone who would look at me now, would be able to see a broken girl, from the salt water falling at of my eyes.

I make my way over to my dresser with only light from the moon to guide the way. It's still enough light to see the outlines of all the picture of me and Beck, covering my dresser mirror. I consider cutting them up but I can't bring myself to do it yet. Instead I grab my laptop off my dresser and lay on my bed trying to find a song or movie that will numb this pain even for just a few minutes.

I click on my file label penguins, because I love penguins and I forgot what was in the file. When the video in the file starts playing, I instantly realize it's the time me, Beck, Cat, Robbie, Andre and his ex-girlfriend Kiki went to the zoo. Beck and I been dating six months and official together for a month. I know it will hurt watching this now but I just can't seem to stop staring at the happier version of Beck and me on the screen.

**Flashback:**

"Robbie, stop!" I snap noticing he's recording me again. I normally wouldn't care seeing how one day I'm going to be famous and everyone going to want to record me, but I don't trust the nerd not to upload me eating my pink cotton candy to the slap page.

"Aw, Jade are you a little camera shy?" Beck, my boyfriend teases me. I lock my icy blue eyes with his warm brown ones, glaring into them. Only he keeps flicking his eyes to my lips, making it hard not to want to kiss him. When I steal a glance at his lips, Beck tilts his head until his lips brushes against mine. They taste of the candy but have the effect of wine. Soon my entire body is catching on fire. I drop the cotton candy I was holding to run my hands up the back of his neck pushing his lips harder against mine, and he grabs my hips pulling me closer against him.

My hand tangles in his soft brunette locks and tug slightly to break the kiss. "We're still at the zoo," I whisper against his mouth. "I know," he whispers back, but not moving away from me. I was about to kiss my incredible hot boyfriend again when I notice Robbie still recording us out of the corner of my eyes.

Still feeling a little giddy from the kiss, I don't yell at the creeper instead I turn grabbing Beck hand dragging him back over to the penguins. "Cat" I yell over my shoulder knowing she will be hurt if I don't invite her to look at them with me. Besides the giraffe, penguins are her favorite too. "What-y?" she asks excitedly like I was about to revel the wonders of the world to her. "Want come check out the penguins?"

After she said kk, we all headed to the penguins. I love looking at the black and white aquatic birds. "Andre, can you make a song for the penguins?" Kiki asks her boyfriend, who of course says yes, because he looks at her like she the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. She actually is quite pretty; she's about 5'4 with light caramel color skin, green eyes and black curly hair.

When he finishes the song, Cat, Robbie, Andre, Beck, and I make a music video for it while Kiki records it. Robbie later gives that video to me to upload it to YouTube, but I never do, because it was our day, and it is too special to share with the world.


End file.
